My Query Letter for Ancillary Justice

I had a lovely time last night hanging out with Writers Under the Arch. We had delicious muffins and talked about writing, and it was just a great evening all around.

While we were chatting, the topic of query letters came up, and I said I thought they should be against the law, but really there’s no getting around them. And I was asked if I could share mine for Ancillary Justice. So I’m posting it here for anyone who’s interested.

You’ll notice the book changed its title between the time I queried agents and the time it was published.

Dear [Agent]:
 
Once Breq had hundreds of bodies, her artificial intelligence animating a ship and thousands of ancillary units in the service of the Radch, the colonialist empire that built her.
 
That’s all gone. Destroyed. Now she has only a single, limited human body. And she has only one goal–to revenge herself on Anaander Mianaai, many-bodied, near-immortal, ruler of the Radch.
 
A long time ago, Seivarden had been a lieutenant on Justice of Toren, the ship Breq used to be. Now Seivarden is lying in the street on an icy backwater planet, naked and unconscious, battered into insensibility from months of too many drugs and too little food. Breq knows she should leave Seivarden to rot where she found her. Breq isn’t responsible for Seivarden, not anymore. Besides, Seivarden was never one of Breq’s favorite people.
 
But Breq can’t walk away, can’t abandon a former officer. Even though she knows that it’s a possibly fatal distraction from her one, true aim. Even though she knows that in the complex politics of the Radch, Seivarden would side with the faction that Breq implacably opposes. The faction that has already destroyed her once.
 
JUSTICE OF TOREN is a Cherryh-flavored space opera complete at 101,000 words.
 
I am a graduate of Clarion West. My short fiction has appeared in Strange Horizons, Realms of Fantasy, Subterranean Magazine, and three volumes of Rich Horton’s best of the year anthologies. I am also the editor of the webzine GigaNotoSaurus.
 
I look forward to hearing from you. Thank you for your time, and your attention,
 
Ann Leckie
[contact information]

So there you go. You’ll notice I didn’t get the entire plot in there–it really doesn’t go much further than the first chapter.

For those of you about to embark on your own query letters–my sincere condolences. And I strongly recommend reading the entire Query Shark archive. It’ll help you get some kind of a handle on what sort of thing it is you’re trying to produce.

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Ancillary Mercy 7

I sat up, pushed the blanket away. Three days before, my shoulder had been encased in a corrective, numbing and immobilizing that arm. I was still appreciating the restored freedom of movement.

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Ancillary Mercy 6

“Ship, actually.” She tilted her head toward me just slightly, her attention still on the tea. Mercy of Kalr mostly communicated with its crew via auditory or visual implants, speaking directly into our ears or placing words or images in our visions. It was doing this now, I could see, Seivarden reading words that Ship was giving her. “I’m Ship just now. And two messages came in for you while you slept, but there’s nothing immediately wrong, Fleet Captain.”

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Ancillary Mercy 5

It had been more than a month since she’d last acted as my servant, but her presence was so familiar that I had, on waking, accepted it without thinking much about it. “Seivarden,” I said.

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Ancillary Mercy 4

At the counter at the end of the three-by-four-meter room, Seivarden stood, making tea. With the old enamel set and only two bowls, one of them chipped, a casualty of Seivarden’s early, inept attempts to be useful, more than a year ago.

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Ancillary Mercy 3

I opened my eyes. The walls of my quarters displayed the same view of the space around us that Lieutenant Ekalu watched, in Command–Athoek Station, ships, Athoek itself. The beacons of the system’s four intersystem gates. I didn’t need the walls to display that view. It was one I could see anywhere, at any time, merely by wishing to. But I had never commanded its actual use here. Ship must have done it.

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A Brief Note About the Audio Versions of the Ancillary Books

So, because I get questions about this, in various forms.

The US audiobook of Ancillary Justice was made by a company called Recorded Books. They set up a phone call with me to go over pronunciations, so Celeste Ciulla pronounces everything the way that I would. Any tunes, however, are her own and not mine–I didn’t provide music! I haven’t listened to the whole audiobook, and so don’t know if she used the actual tune of “the person with weapons” (aka L’homme Arme) or made her own. I think Ms Ciulla has a lovely voice, though, and I was very pleased with what I heard. (Yes, I know, Breq doesn’t have a lovely voice, but do you really want to listen to a whole novel read in a not-lovely voice? It’s an interesting question, and might be fun to figure out how to pull off, but I was happy to have Ms Ciulla do the book.)

After the US audiobook of Justice had been out a while, Orbit UK decided to do an audiobook. They sent me links to a bunch of samples of prospective narrators, and when I heard Adjoa Andoh’s, I went, “Right, her!” I was really pleased they A)listened to my preference and B) got her to do it. I love her voice and what I’ve heard of her reading. Nobody consulted me about pronunciations, though, so they’re different from the US one. And once again, I didn’t provide any tunes (I don’t have any, really, except for the “real” songs), and am curious whether L’homme Arme actually got used.

When Sword came out, they decided to use Ms Andoh’s reading for both the US and the UK. Which pleased me because, like I said, I love her reading. I gather it’s kind of disconcerting for US listeners who’d gotten used to Ms Ciulla’s reading. And, once again, I did not provide any tunes! I was asked recently on Tumblr if I had a tune for the “Oh Tree” song, and I don’t, but Ms Andoh does!

I don’t know what’s up with Mercy, but I am really hoping Adjoa Andoh has agreed to do it.

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Ancillary Mercy 2

Lieutenant Ekalu was on watch. Indignant about something. A little angry, even. Before her the wall displayed a view of Athoek Station, the ships surrounding it. The dome over its gardens barely visible from this angle. Athoek itself half shadowed, half shining blue and white. The background chatter of communications revealed nothing amiss.

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Ancillary Mercy 1

Here we go! Paragraph 1 of Chapter 1 of Ancillary Mercy.

One moment asleep. Awake the next, to the familiar small noises of someone making tea. But it was six minutes earlier than I’d intended. Why? I reached.

Yeah, those are some beeny little sentences. That’s why I’m doing paragraphs at least some of the time this year. I figured five days on that just wasn’t fair.

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Wordles

Since tomorrow the bit by bitting of Ancillary Mercy begins (available for pre-order wherever fine books are, uh, pre-sold!), I thought I would re-post the Ancillary Mercy wordle for those of you who may be inclined to scan it for hints. Or, you know, admire the pretty colors.

A bit of information first up–I’m pretty sure the program that generates these counts capitalized words as different from lower case ones. Thus Ship and ship, and Station and station, are considered different words.

mercy wordle

And for comparison, for those of you who care (or are at loose ends and looking for something to amuse yourself with), the wordle for Ancillary Justice:

Screenshot 2015-08-05 16.05.45

And Ancillary Sword:

swordle

Posted on in Ancillary Justice, Ancillary Mercy, Ancillary Sword